Today I had to tell my co-workers, who did not see the news on social media, that the United States has discontinued the penny.*
Look, the world has a lot of problems, and apparently it costs $0.04 to make a penny, which is why they stopped, but.. dang, man. It feels like we should have been consulted.
The penny is a huge part of culture here in the United States. Now what the @#$% am I supposed to pick up and all the day have good luck? Riddle me THAT, US Mint.
What will the name now mean when we meet a Penny? We might as well call women "Doubloon".
What giant coin will Batman have in the Batcave? A NICKEL? Like a common nickel hoarder?
Are we supposed to read the Dime Saver? Offer a quarter for your thoughts? At gas station cash registers, are we to give a Sacagawea dollar, take a Sacagawea dollar?
This is bullshit. I would have been happier had they said "no more dimes and nickels. A penny is now a dime. Everyone round up."
*Thanks, Nathan!






